


I choose me

by thelostsouls



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood First Meet, Panic Attacks, Protective Magnus Bane, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-05-23 07:45:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelostsouls/pseuds/thelostsouls
Summary: AU College - Alexander Lightwood travels across the country to attend college en to escape the toxic environment of his childhood home. He carries a lot of baggage with him. When he gets paired up with a gorgeous co-student, his life changes completly. (I suck at summaries) - ON HOLD





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys,  
> So this is the first time I'm writing something like this. At the moment I have a lot of free time because I'm currently on bedrest at four moths pregnancy. I have read a lot of Malec fanfictions already and decided to give it a try.  
> I don't speak English (I'm from Belgium actually so I speak Dutch and French) so please excuse my, probably many, spelling and grammar mistakes. This is going to be a story with multiple chapters, I will try to update regularly. If you feel up to it, please leave a comment so I know if I made the right move by posting this ;)  
> The story is rated M for later chapters ;)

"This is it" Alec thought as he threw the last of his books in the box on his bed. He stood in the middle of his, soon to be, old childhood bedroom. Really nothing had changed in the last five years. The same bed stood in one corner. The same desk stood in the other. The only addition being his laptop and tablet, which were now packed up with the rest of his belongings.  
In half an hour he would be moving away to the other side of the country to attend college. After living all of his life in New York, California would be a tremendous change. That was exactly the reason he chose to apply for UCLA in the first place. That and the fact that he would effectivly be more than 2500 miles away from his parents. He could still remember the disappointed looks on their faces when he told them he had been accepted there. Well, his mother had been disappointed. His father would have actually had to give a crap about him to be disappointed. Indifferent would be a more fitting term. 

 

His mother and father, Maryse and Robert Lightwood, ran the most succesful law firm in New York City. They specialised in corporate law and among their clients were some of the biggest companies in the state. They had been training Alec to become partner since he was just a child. As he was the oldest, they had psuhed him to be the best in everything. He had to take all advanced classes his expensive private school had to offer. He had to learn three additional languages and learn to play the piano and the violin. When he was seven years old, he had told his mother that he really wanted to go to art class after school. His mother had slapped him in the face and told him that if he ever said something this ridiculous again, he would be locked in his room for a month. Ever since then, he did what his parents told him, grateful that it was him they were pushing and not his siblings. 

 

The constant pressure to be the best he could be at everything, and still not be able to please his parents, had left him with a major self-esteem problem. He kept every emotion burried deep within himself, because as his parents said 'emotions are weakness'. Only when he was alone with Izzy and Jace (who had come to live with them when he was only nine after his parents had died), did he show how much he truly suffered. When he was in his senior year of highschool, he had started cutting to cope with all the anger and sadness. One of his teachers had noticed and had taken him to the school counselor. At first he had refused to talk to her, afraid she would tell his parents. It took quite some reassurance from her to convince him that nothing he said there would be told to his parents. After that, he began seeing her once a week for the whole year. It was her who had convinced him that it was ok to choose something for yourself and who had helped him fill out the application for UCLA. 

 

Ever since he told his parents that it was in fact not his dream to become the next partner in Lightwood, Blackthorn & Verlac, they had hardly hid their malcontempt towards him. Adding the fact that just a mere two weeks later he had told them he was gay, had only dropped the temperature further below zero. He still lived in the Lightwood house, sure, but neither his mother or father spoke to him unless it was truly necessary. It had taken a lot of courage for him to stand up for himself. He had been used to follow their every rule for the past eighteen years, always doing what was best considering to them to uphold the Lightwood name.

 

It was his little sister Isabelle and his adoptive brother Jace who had encouraged him to, as they claimed, 'do something for himself for once'. Even if that something meant he had to move across the country and leave them behind. At first he didn't want to apply to UCLA because that would mean he wouldn't be there anymore to protect them. But Izzy and Jace had been very clear. He would go to UCLA this year and when they both finished high school in a year, they would follow him up there. And, as Izzy had said, there would always be Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthday parties for which he would have to come home. Alec had been terrified about telling them the truth about his sexuality. But as it turned out, both Izzy and Jace had suspected this about him for years and had assured him that this wouldn’t change a thing between them. 

 

Taking one last look around his room, he picked up his suitcase and headed for the door. When he descended the final stair, he saw Jace and Izzy waiting for him in the hallway. "Is that really everything you're taking with you big brother?" Izzy asked with a smirk. Alec resisted rolling his eyes at his little sister. He knew that when she would be moving away next year, she would have to hire a moving company to be able to take all her clothes, shoes and beauty products with her. Alec himself was more of a practical guy. "Yeah Izzy, unlike you I don't own an entire department store worth of clothes", Alec replied. "What are you standing here in the hallway for?" he asked them. Jace and Izzy gave him both a sad smile. "Mom and Dad wont allow us to come to the airport with you to say goodbye", Izzy said. "What? Why?", Alec asked, feeling a pang of sadness that he wouldn't be able to say a proper goodbye to his siblings. "They didn't say it with that many words, but we think it's because they don't want you to corrupt our minds with what they call 'your defiant attitude and refusal to do what is clearly the right choice in life for you'", Jace said while rolling his eyes. Alec sighed at Jace's words and for the millionth time since he had received the acceptance letter, he doubted his choice. Maybe it would be better to just stay in New York to study law at Harvard like his parents had wanted him to and get married tot he daughter of some high class, rich friend of his parents. Izzy and Jace noticed the battle he was fighting with himself. "Do not do this to yourself again Alec!", Izzy shouted. "We are fine with staying here for a year without you. We are not defenseless you know". Jace came over to him and stared him in the eyes. "Alec, you know how in the movies people always say 'Listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once'". Alec nodded. "Good, so listen up because I'm only going to say this once", Jace said with a grin. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life that you choose with who you choose to live it with. Apparently that is not something that will happen any time soon if you stay in New York and definitly not if you keep living here. So pick up your lonely suitcase and get your ass to the airport so you can go and start your life in Los Angeles". "Okay", Alec whispered. Jace smiled "Okay?". "Yeah okay", Alec answered with a small smile. Jace pulled him in a hug. Alec buried his face in the crook of Jace's neck. Izzy joined the hug with her two brothers by slinging her arms around their necks. Alec was really going to miss his siblings. They were the only good thing about his life in New York. He had to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I - I'm going to miss you so much", he whispered to Jace and Izzy. "We know big borther, us too" Izzy replied. Jace tightened his arms around Alec a little more.

 

"Alexander". Alec flinched when he heard his full name being called. He looked up to see his father standing by the front door. Reluctantly he let go of his siblings to turn to his father. "I don't have the time to chauffeur you all around town, so I assume you can get yourself to the airport", his father said dismissivly. "Oh, O-okay", Alec said cursing himself that he wasn’t stronger to stand up to his father, "Where's Mom?" "At the restaurant, waiting for us to join her for dinner", his father answered with a sigh. "Isabelle, Jace, go wait in the car for me. We will leave in five minutes." Izzy and Jace both hugged Alec one more time before they left. Before she headed out the door, Izzy looked at Alec one last time over her shoulder. Alec could see she was trying real hard to keep the tears from spilling. Alec had a hard time processing the fact that he would not see them again before Thanksgiving. He would also wanted to have been surprised to learn his mother wasn't there to say goodbye, but that would have meant he had actually hoped for her to be there. Which he hadn't.

 

"Alexander". His father's voice shook him from his thoughts. He straightened his shoulders and squared his jaw. Why did just the mention of his name by his father's voice, make a shiver run across Alec's spine? "Father", he answered. He was really proud of himself that his voice had only shook a little bit. "Alexander, I just want to be very clear about one thing. Once you leave this house to run off to Los Angeles to pursue this pathetic career you apparently chose for yourself, you no longer will be a member of this family. You will no longer see your siblings. You will no longer have access to your trust fund. You will not be welcomed at our table at Thanksgiving of Christmas. You will never step foot in this house again untill you come to your senses and admit that the career your mother and me chose for you, is the only way to a successful life. Untill you admit to yourself that this whole ‘gay thing’ is a phase and you want us to set you up with a respectable wife to continue the Lightwood name. And believe me, you will come to that conclusion. And when you do, you better be prepared to beg me to let you back in. Because how I see it, I'm better off without you than with the sad excuse for a son you really are." With that, Robert turned around and left Alec standing alone in the wide hallway, the sound of the door slamming shut echoing in his ears.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has to make an important decision.  
> Alec meets Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, first of all thank you so much for the comments. I was going to update sooner, but decided to re-write the entire chapter so I hope you like it.

The sound of the door closing echoed in his ears. Alec didn’t know how long he just stood there, staring. His mind was blank, he couldn’t process what had just happened. Couldn’t imagine that what his father had told him, would actually happen. Never see Izzy or Jace again. He heard his heart thud in his ears. He couldn’t breath. His breaths came in sharp gusts and he felt himself tremble all over. He knew he was having a panic attack, but he couldn’t remember how he was supposed to help himself through it. These thoughts only worsened the panic he already felt. He tried to even out his breaths, but he couldn’t get enough oxygen in his lungs. ‘Shhh, relax Alec’, it was as if Izzy was right there beside him. Her and Jace had always helped him get through his anxiety. They had learned him techniques to calm himself. 

 

_“I can’t do it Izzy, I just can’t!” Alec had cried. He was sitting on the floor with his knees hugged to his chest. Izzy and Jace were sitting in front of him. They had just suggested that Alec should come out to his parents, because otherwise he would never be truly happy and never be able to live his life. Alec didn’t want to come out yet. He knew his parents’ reaction would be bad. They would probably scream at him, maybe his dad would even hit him, or disown him. The tought of sitting down at the dinner table and randomly say ‘Hey Mom and Dad, you know I did really well on my English paper and by the way I’m also gay’ was ridiculous. But somewhere he knew Izzy and Jace were right and he knew he should start making decisions for himself and not to please his parents. His breaths had become shallow and his heart was beating out of his chest. He didn’t know how to stop this, he had a feeling he was going to have a heart attack and die. Izzy and Jace had helped him though. They had taken his hand and spoke gently to him. Told him to breath in and out slowly with them, untill he felt better._

 

Deep breaths in through his nose, out through his mouth. After fifteen minutes Alec had managed to calm himself down enough. At least now he wasn’t on the verge of passing out anymore. He noticed he was sitting on the ground and there were tears streaming down his face. Blinking a few times, he took out his phone and tried calling Izzy. When he pressed the call button, nothing happened. He frowned and looked at his phone: ‘No cell phone signal’. What the hell? He always had a signal in the house. He took a few steps untill he was standing on the front porch and tried calling Izzy again: ‘No cell phone signal’. Alec frowned at his phone. Suddenly he realised what was happening; his parents had cancelled his phone number. He should have known they would do something like this. If they had taken away his siblings’ phone, they would have found other ways to contact him. But if he didn’t have a phone, they would think that he didn’t want any contact with them. He cursed under his breath and tried to hold back the new panic attack threatening to overcome him. ‘Okay… okay… just stay calm and think Lightwood’, Alec thought to himself. ‘They haven’t won yet. There are other ways to contact Izzy or Jace. Maybe I can call Clary or Simon, yeah they could get a message through to them’. With a plan forming in his mind, Alec felt himself calming down. He remembered then that he was supposed to be heading to the airport to start his new life in LA. But could he even do this now? Maybe it would be better to just stay here and do what his parents had told him, at least that way he could still have Izzy and Jace. The mere tought of staying in the same house as his mother and father sickened Alec. He wouldn’t be able to just pretend as if nothing had happened. Taking a few deep breaths, he picked up his suit case and headed out the door. ‘I choose me’, he thought as he flagged down a cab. 

 

It had been a nightmare to get to the airport on time. Traffic had been jammed up everywhere, because hello, this was New York City. Alec arrived at the airport with thirty minutes to spare. He hurried to get himself checked in and got through customs without much trouble. Once he stood in front of the gate, he started doubting himself again. If he got on the plane, he would be able to finaly set himself free. He would be able to study what he wanted (which in his case was Literature) and try to pursue the career he had always dreamed about. Ever since he was little, he had been fascinated by books. It was amazing what an author could do with just the right words. They could create an entire universe, completly different from the one he lived in. They could let their fantasy run wild and make up characters who could do and be anything and everything they wanted. Alec had always felt envious of those characters. They didn’t have parents who took control over every part of their lives and apparantly had every minute of it already planned out by the time he was out of his diapers. Which lead his thoughts to what would happen if he didn’t get on the plane. If he chose not to board the plane, he would have to go back to his parents’ house and beg his father to let him stay. After that, he would never have one moment of freedom. His parents would have complete power over him. But… then he could see his siblings. 

 

Alec stood there, lost in his own head. “…Final boarding call for flight UA 7998 to Los Angeles. All passengers should be heading towards terminal 8”. Alec almost missed the announcement. It was his flight. He had to board now or return home. He didn’t know what to do. Unconsciously , his feet had taken him to the gate where a member of the airline crew stood waiting to check his ticket. “Sir, may I see your boarding pass please”, she said with a wide smile plastered on her face. With shaking hands, Alec handed his boarding pass to her. “Okay sir, have a nice flight”, she smiled at him. Alec turned awkwardly and walked towards the plane. Once he was seated and had strapped on his seatbelt, he allowed himself one moment of panic before the plane took off. He was staring out the window, gripping his arm rests desperatly. Suddenly a hand grasped his arm. “… you okay?”. Alec nearly jumped out of his seat when he looked next to him. Alec stared wide eyed. In the seat right next to his, with his hand still on Alec’s arm, sat the most gorgeous guy Alec had ever seen. He had Asian features and a beautiful golden tan. His hair was jet black and spiked up, the edges died electric blue. His eyes were a beautiful mix of gold and green and were lined with black eyeliner. “Are you okay?”, he said again. “You look like you might be having a panic attack, are you a nervous flyer?”. Alec realised he was still staring at the guy. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but no sounds came out. He looked to the guy’s hand on his arm and noticed that he wore electric blue nail polish, matching the streaks in his hair. “Should I get someone from the crew?”, the guy asked him, tone concerned. “Uhm.. N-No, No, that’s not um, not necessary”, Alec managed to say. ‘Great Lightwood, first stare at the guy and now stutter, you’re a walking social nightmare’, Alec thought to himself. “Oh great, you’re back in the land of the living”, the guy laughed. “For a minute there I thought you would have to get off the plane, robbing me of 5 hours alone with you”. Alec didn’t know how to respond to that line and ‘Did he just wink at me?’, Alec thought. He felt a blush creep up his cheeks. “You know you’re really cute when you blush”, the guy said. “I’m Magnus by the way, Magnus Bane.”.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec talk on the plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm really sorry it took me so long to update the story. I have been in and out of the hospital due to problems with my blood pressure caused by my pregnancy. I'm fine now so I should be able to update the story regularly now.

Alec knew he was staring again but he couldn’t help it. Magnus was in one word… there wasn’t just one word to really describe him, but gorgeous came pretty close. He had been talking to Alec for the past four hours and Alec was actually pretty proud he had managed to keep the embarrassing moments to a bare minimum. Sure, Magnus had done like 90% of the talking, but still.

Alec noticed that when he was talking to Magnus, his mind didn’t have the mental capacity to also worry about how things had turned out with his parents at home. He probably would have to pay for that when he got to his dorm and be alone. 

“… so yeah, that’s kind of how I ended up choosing fashion design as a minor while majoring in business and marketing. What about you?” ´Oh shit, he asked me a question´, Alec thought. He had been lost in his own thoughts and honestly also way too busy staring at Magnus to listen to the conversation. “I… Um… What?” Magnus threw his head back laughing. ‘Great, now he’s laughing at you. Way to go Lightwood’, Alec chastised himself. “I asked what you chose as your major”, Magnus repeated with a kind smile. “Oh, I’m majoring in English Literature”, Alec said, still blushing. When Magnus asked him direct questions it was kind of possible for him to respond. Anything else had him stuttering and blushing out of control.

“Cool, so you want to become a writer then?”, Magnus asked. “Yeah, I’ve always been fascinated by how a writer can create a completely new world and characters. I’ve always wanted to do that myself.”, Alec explained. “So have you written something already?”, Magnus asked. “Um.. I’ve like written a few short stories for my high school’s school paper and stuff.”, Alec shrugged. “That’s really cool. Do you think I can maybe read some one day?”, Magnus asked. Alec didn’t know how to respond to that. He always felt nervous when people asked him about his writings. It was his life long dream to become a writer, but he was really worried that he wouldn’t be able to captivate an audience enough to really make it work.

He also knew that making it as a writer depended on so much more than just the quality of your work. Most of it was up to chance and the people you knew in the business. It was his worst fear to have to call his parents one day and admit he wasn’t able to make it on his own and ask for their help. Certainly after the way his father had left him earlier today. He wasn’t even sure that if he called to ask for their help, they would actually offer him the help he needed. They probably would tell him they warned him, that he shouldn’t have been so stubborn in his pursuit of this pathetic excuse of a non-career. That if he had listened to them he would have had a stable job as a lawyer in their firm and a beautiful wife, of their choosing of course, with probably a kid on the way. If he would have listened to them, he wouldn’t be needing their help. He would probably also be depressed and lonely, suffocating under the pressure of being the perfect son for his perfect family.

He hadn’t realized his thoughts had wandered down a darker path, until the warmth of Magnus’s hand on his startled him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked to read some of your stories. I understand if they are personal and you don’t feel comfortable in sharing them”, Magnus said softly. Alec blinked a few times before answering him. “N-No, it’s alright, um, I just got lost in my own head. It happens sometimes. I’m sorry.”, Alec explained. “That’s quite alright Alexander”, Magnus smiled. Alec’s heart leapt in his chest when Magnus used his full name. He had been doing that for the duration of the flight, but Alec still wasn’t used to it. Magnus was the only one who called him by his full name that didn’t have Alec running for the hills. The only other people who called him Alexander were his parents and with them the name always came with a negative sentiment. Alec felt himself answering Magnus’s smile with a small tentative one of his own. Maybe the decision to completely go against his family wasn’t so bad.

After another hour, the plane landed in Los Angeles, California. Alec and Magnus made their way to baggage claim together with the rest of the passengers on their flight. “So, do you stay on campus?”, Magnus asked. “Yeah, I’m staying in the dorms. Are you?”, Alec answered. He couldn’t deny the tiny fluttering of hope when he thought about the possibility that Magnus would be living close to him. “No, I’m staying at my best friend Ragnor’s apartment.”, Magnus said, “He lives close to the campus and his apartment is way nicer than those college dorms, no offense”. “That’s alright”, Alec answered, trying not to feel too disappointed. “But hey, I’ll still see you around campus right, and of course we have to go out, clubbing, together”, Magnus said. Alec didn’t really know how to respond to that since clubbing really wasn’t his thing. But, he also knew he would take every opportunity to see Magnus again so he settled for just nodding his head. Magnus looked at his watch and told him he had to run because his friend Ragnor would be waiting outside any second now. 

With a last “See you on campus Alexander!”, he turned around and strode outside. Alec stood there watching him even when he had already left his sight, until he remembered that he had forgotten to ask for his phone number. The kind of happy mood he had found himself in for the past five hors began to disappear now he was left on his own. With a sigh, he headed outside too, looking for a cab to take him to his dorm.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just wanted to thank all of you who left a comment or kudos on the last chapter(s). Everything is back to normal with the pregnancy, so now I can just sit around and count down the last three months.  
> I know it's a really short chapter. Next one will probably be from Magnus's POV or at least contain some content from his POV.  
> I've been playing around with an idea for another story in my head so maybe I will begin writing that also.

The first few weeks on campus were a giant blur of new classes, new professors and new people to meet.

Alec came home to his dorm late one night in his fifth week of college. He had just worked on one of his papers in the library and totally lost track of time. It wasn’t until someone had told him the library would be closing soon, he had realized how late it had already been. When he arrived home, he heated up some leftover pasta and ate it in front of the television.

When he had first arrived, he had thought he had been lucky. He had one of the few dorms without a second room, leaving him without a roommate. This suited him well because Alec was never good with other people and certainly not with new people. He wasn’t really a social person and he was often told he was too blunt in his statements. He just thought there was no use in hiding what you think because that just made everything awkward.

However, after being on his own for nearly five weeks, he actually started missing some companionship. Sure, he had talked to the other students in his classes, but those were just superficial conversations. Where are you from, who is your favorite author, that kind of stuff. He hated to admit it to himself, but he actually felt lonely.

He hadn’t heard from his parents since the day he left for college. He wasn’t really surprised, but he also noticed that deep down inside there had been this tiny speck of hope they would somehow miss him and call him. It had hurt when he had to crush that hope after four weeks of no contact. Izzy and Jace had both called him numerous times and they had a weekly facetime appointment, but after growing up and living in the same house for all those years, it just wasn’t the same. They both informed him on life in New York and how everything back home was. Max, his youngest brother, missed him but had been sent of to boarding school in England by his parents. Izzy and Jace never said it with as much words, but Alec knew they had done that so he could not contact him. Izzy had been in multiple arguments with both their parents about how they treated Alec, but to no avail.

  
Alec sighed. This was another reason he craved companionship. When he was left alone he got too lost inside his own mind and started overthinking everything. He couldn’t help but feel hurt. His parents, for lack of a more suitable word, hated him, had even sent his brother to the other side of the world to minimize the contact between them and for all he knew acted like they only had three children instead of four. He often wondered if he did something wrong. Maybe he deserved the way they treated him right now. He hadn’t really been the best son he could have been to them. Alec scrubbed his hands over his face, noticing wet trails on his cheeks. He hadn’t even realized he had started crying. He was so sick of feeling like this, of dealing with his own thoughts all day long. He had done this for as long as he could remember: overthink and drag yourself down, it was the title to his own self-help book. The only thing missing was the chapter on how to stop those thoughts.

He remembered when he was about fourteen and had just discovered that there was a real possibility of him being gay. This had also lead to overthinking and in the end he didn’t knew any other way to cope with the emotional pain than to make it physical. At first he had just taken up running. When he ran, he didn’t think and he could push his muscles to the extreme. The pain and fatigue helped him to calm his mind down. But after a couple of months, he had built up quite the stamina, so he had to go running for longer periods of time to feel the same numbness. After that, he started going to the gym to punch on whatever was available until his knuckles bled. He hadn’t done that in a long time, but he really felt like tonight he needed that physical outlet for his pain.

  
He stood up from the sofa and headed to the gym om campus. One of the perks of being a student was that most of the facilities on campus were open 24/7 when you had a student card to open the doors. After two hours of relentless pounding on the punching bag, sweat running down his back and forehead, blood running down his knuckles where the protecting tape had torn off, he still didn’t feel better. The thoughts in his head were still there. Feeling more and more desperate, Alec stood up, took a shower and decided he would try and get some sleep.

  
When he left the gym, it was nearing midnight. There were still some students on the grounds, but most of them looked like they were also heading home. When he passed one of the buildings, he heard a whimpering sound. When he looked up, he saw some guy being pressed up against the building, while another guy was pressed up against them. At first Alec thought they were making out, until he saw the person against the building attempt to push away the other one. He didn’t seem to get the message as he just took the other man’s hands in one of his own and drag them above his head. Meanwhile he continued to kiss all over his face and neck and pushed one of his legs between the other one’s thighs.

Before he could consciously think about it, Alec had already run over and pulled the guy off. He pushed him against the wall with his forearm against the other one’s throat and hissed “Leave him the fuck alone. Don’t you understand when someone says no”. The first thing Alec thought when he heard the man speak and saw his face, was that he must have been pure evil. He had white blonde hair and steel blue eyes. His pale complexion made him look handsome and probably got him a lot of attention. The guy just smirked at Alec. “Look at the way he is dressed, come on he is practically begging for it “ he said. Alec just stared at him in horror and felt a tingle creep up his spine at the lack of emotion in the man’s voice. “Just walk away before I do something that I will regret”, he said to him while applying some extra pressure on his throat. The guy scoffed and adjusted his clothes. “If you wanted a piece of the action, you just had to ask, we could have shared you know”, he said with a wink before blowing a kiss at Alec and leaving.

  
Alec stared at his back for a couple of seconds before turning around to look at the other man who had slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground. “Hey, are you all right?”, Alec asked while stepping closer to the man and sinking down on his haunches. When the other man looked up, he froze as he recognized the eyes staring back at him. The last time he saw them, they hadn’t been red and bloodshot, nor had there been eyeliner smudged all around them, but they still looked every bit as beautiful as they did five weeks ago at the airport. “Magnus”, Alec gasped.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm really sorry for the delay. I kind of didn't like what I had written anymore so I kind of struggled to continue the story. It seems I can come up with good prompt but actually working them into a story that works is a little difficult. I hope you enjoy the new chapter, I'll try to update more regularl!

Alec looked down at Magnus who was half sitting, half standing against the wall. He had thought about meeting Magnus on campus on numerous occasions and hadn’t really been able to get the other out of his head.   
He was embarrassed to admit that the image of Magnus and his piercing green cat-like eyes had been on the forefront of many fantasies while he was in the shower. Not that he would ever admit that to Magnus. Or anyone really.   
Magnus looked up at Alec with wide eyes, breathing fast and shallow. “Hey, you’re all right, I’ve got you”, Alec said and made a move to touch Magnus on his arm. Magnus flinched and pulled his arm back when he saw the move Alec was making. Alec dropped his arm and smiled at Magnus “Okay, no touching I promise. Do you mind if I come and sit with you?”, he asked. Magnus still looked a little apprehensive but nodded none the less.   
Alec dropped down with his back against the wall. He wondered what had happened that had lead to the situation he had found Magnus in. He also wondered how he was supposed to help Magnus with this when he was very aware that he couldn’t even handle his own problems. He started chewing on his bottom lip, a nervous habit of his. “I’m here you know, um, if you want to, to talk about it”, he said to Magnus. “Or not, you can totally decide if you want to tell me or just, you know, not and we can do something other like grab a coffee. Or you can tell me to go away, that’s, yeah, that’s also cool with me if you want that”, Alec stammered. He really should learn how to talk to other human beings like he belonged to the same species, he thought to himself.   
Since Magnus didn’t ask him to leave, but also didn’t start talking Alec remained seated against the wall. Jace was exactly the same when something bothered him and Alec had learned to just be patient and Jace would eventually tell him what was wrong. Maybe Magnus would do too. 

He glanced at Magnus from the corner of his eyes and saw that he was staring off across the grounds. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. All of a sudden he started speaking, startling Alec out of his staring trance. “He- He’s my best friend’s brother”, he said, swallowing hard to get past the lump in his throat. When Alec didn’t speak, he elaborated “The guy who was here before. He is my best friend’s brother. He, um, always had kind of a crush on me, but I was never really interested in starting a real relationship with him. I didn’t even know he went to UCLA but last week I was at this party and had too much to drink. He came up to me and started talking and flirting and next I knew I woke up in his bed the next morning.”   
Alec saw a blush stain Magnus’s cheeks like he was embarrassed to be telling the story to someone. Like he was afraid Alec might judge him.   
“I snuck out of his apartment before he woke up and hoped he would never mention it again. But tonight he showed up when I was heading to my dorm saying that we should talk. I foolishly agreed and he basically told me he wanted to take me out on a date and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”, Magnus sighed. “I told him I wasn’t interested, that last week was a mistake. He didn’t really take it well”, he ended in a whisper.   
Alec didn’t know what to say. What was an appropriate response to a story like that. ‘I’m sorry’ just didn’t seem to cut it. At loss for words, Alec reached out to take Magnus’ hand in his own and stroked his thumb over the back. He ignored the tingling feeling he got when his skin brushed against Magnus’. “He didn’t have the right to do that to you. Everyone should have the choice of who they want to be seeing”, Alec said. He looked over at Magnus and saw his eyes were shining with tears. “Thank you, Alexander”, Magnus said with a small smile. Alec couldn’t help but feel happy when Magnus appeared to have remembered his name. “You don’t think I would forget the name of the most gorgeous guy to ever sit next to me on an airplane, do you?”, Magnus asked, some of his natural charisma returning now he was over the initial shock. Alec blushed furiously when he realized he had actually said that out loud. “ Um, I- I don’t…”, he stammered. Magnus took pity on him and bumped his shoulder against Alec’s. “Off course I remember you”, he said with a smile while he looked into Alec’s eyes. “Really and thank you for what you did tonight. I don’t know how that would have ended if it weren’t for you”, Magnus continued.   
Alec didn’t know what to say. He just did what felt right and he supposed everyone would have done what he did. But as he saw the genuine gratitude in Magnus’ eyes, he realized he was wrong and that a lot of people would have just continued their own path and wouldn’t have bothered with Magnus or the guy who was assaulting him. Clearing his throat, Alec said “It was nothing really. Are you going to be alright on your own? Do you need me to do anything else?”. Magnus grinned at him; “Well, if you yourself ask so nicely, I would love to have your phone number, since we forgot to exchange them at the airport”. Alec felt yet another blush creep up his cheeks as he fumbled for his phone to give to Magnus in order for him to input his number. When he looked at the screen, he saw Magnus had named himself “The magnificent Bane” and had added an emoji of a cat and a lot of glittery emojis. “Now, I’m really sorry but I’m pretty beat. I’m going to head to my dorm. You have my number, please put it to good use”, Magnus said with a wink. Alec didn’t have time to come up with some smart or sexy comeback, as Magnus was already leaving. He waved awkwardly at Magnus, cursing his own incapability in flirting and returned to his own dorm wondering how long he should wait before giving Magnus a call. 


	6. Author's note

Hi everyone,

So this is not a new chapter... I wanted to inform you guys that I will put this work and my other work in progress (Brick By Brick) on hold temporarily. Three weeks ago my computer crashed with all of my idead for these fics on them, alongside a couple of finished chapters. Right now I don't really feel like rewriting everything, so I don't know when a new chapter will be posted on these works.  
I have some new idead for new fics so I'll probably upload something new soon.

On more happy news, at the end of November I gave birth to a cutie little babygirl :)


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